"True wealth is the ability to fully experience life." ~Henry David Thoreau
Exactly 3 years ago today, I published my very first blog post and my site went live for all to see. It was a project I had been keeping myself busy with, while being at home on maternity leave. I can vividly remember the day as if it were just yesterday. I was in such a great mood. It was the first time in about 2 months that I felt like I had satisfied a personal desire of my own.
Don't get me wrong, I was happy with my new role as a mother but, this was a task I had accomplished for me, myself, and I.
It was the first time I was leaving my home with my newborn daughter to go for a doctor's visit since giving birth. I recall how nervous yet excited, I had felt the entire day about taking the subway from our home in Brooklyn to the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Riding the subway and walking through the crowded streets of New York City, was a daily routine for me as a sweater fashion designer at my previous place of work, up until the day I went into labor. I knew this experience would be completely different for me now with my daughter in tote. Yet, I was anxious to be in that familiar environment I knew and missed. You can find out more about my experience by reading that very first blog post here, "Baby Rides NYC Subway".
The Motive Behind Sew This is Life
At the time, I had no idea that I was going through a mild form of post-partum depression. I know some of you may be thinking, "how did you not know?" Well, how would you know if you're a first time mom who was never really educated on the issue? I have a feeling that many other mothers probably can relate or even attest to this.
It wasn't until recently, when I would think back on the weeks after having my daughter, that I realized that I had been going through emotional and psychological distress.
I recall the evenings when my husband would arrive home from a long day at work, and he would go through his regular series of examination questions. "How are you feeling?" "Are you feeling okay?" "Do you need anything?" He would ask me all of these questions in search for some sign that I may be going through post-partum depression. You see for him, this was something that was always on his radar. However, that wasn't the case for me. During my pregnancy, I did so much research and tried to educate myself on everything that I could possibly be confronted with after childbirth. Yet, post-partum depression was not one of them. For some reason, that just wasn't something I considered as a possible situation I would ever go through. I've always considered myself to be someone who is very positive, optimistic, and, on the joyful side of things, especially when it came to motherhood. I always considered being a mother to be something I should feel nothing but joy and happiness about.
Which, I believe is one of the biggest challenges we face as mothers. How can we become okay with the fact that motherhood is not always going to be filled with pretty roses and joyful days? How can you possibly feel so sad and empty inside with no explanation while, you are staring at the most beautiful gift you could have been blessed with?
Today, I have acknowledged the fact that I did in fact go through moments and days where I would feel joy together with immense sadness with no clear reason as to why I felt that way. If you know me, then you know that I have always used writing and art to cope with difficult moments in my life. Creating "Sew This is Life", was what uplifted me every single day during those 11 months of being a stay-at-home mom. It was where I vented about leaving my fashion career to become a board certified teacher. It was where I discussed all I had learned, about breastfeeding and motherhood through the experience I was living with my daughter. It was where I was able to nourish a little bit of who I was and cultivate who I wanted to become as a first time mom.
Sew This is Life has served and continues to serve as a place where I can provide as well as receive guidance, support, and information on being a woman and a mother.
When I started planning my blog, I always planned for it to be a safe space where I can bridge a connection with other mothers from many different places and under many different circumstances so, that we can all learn and inspire each other. An idea that once started off as a way of giving myself my own work project and a way to cope with my mental state while being at home with my newborn daughter, today has become so much more. I am overfilled with gratification and bliss of the women I have gotten to know, the friends I have made, all I have learned, and all the lives I have been able to touch even in the smallest way from this platform. I truly feel like I am a part of an amazing community of superwomen. I sincerely thank each and every person who has willingly become a part of it...
...Sew This is Life!