I was recently introduced to pastor T.D. Jakes and his preaching videos on Youtube by my mother-in-law. One of my personal goals for last year was to become more connected with God, my religion, and most importantly my faith. If you've been following my blog, you know that I made a promise to making sure to incorporate going to church into my lifestyle with my daughter. Thankfully, I have been able to stay consistent and I couldn't be happier to have made that commitment to her as her mother. It's an inexplicable feeling when I am at church and I hear my daughter singing along with the church choir or when I hear her say "Amen", or when I see her try to do the sign of the cross over her little face. It really brings a sense of joy, happiness, and pride to me because I know that I am teaching her something that can really positively influence her life in the future. For this reason, this goal continues to be eminent in my life for this new year and every year going forward.
Yesterday morning, as I was listening to one of T.D. Jake's motivational speeches, "Discipline Will Make You Unstoppable" there was a phrase that he repeated over and over again that really caught my attention: "When what you believe infiltrates behavior, the process gives you foundation." I couldn't help but to go through a series of flashbacks in my mind of all I have been through in the past 3 years and what I have been able to accomplish by enduring the not so easy process.
"When what you believe infiltrates the behavior..." I remember when I decided to make a career change and begin the process to become a teacher, not too long after getting the news that I would soon become a mom. By the time I started my first day of class, I was 7 months pregnant. My day consisted of a full day of work in my fashion job in Manhattan and later a rushed train ride on the subway across the bridge to class in Downtown Brooklyn. I remember thinking "how is this going to work after our daughter is born?" There was so many moments of self-doubt, discouragement, frustration, and moments where I would literally be on the brink of giving up. However, after crying a river or going through a period of panic, I would wipe my tears, take a few deep breaths and go about my day. (I am eternally grateful for my husband and my family who helped tremendously to talk me out of my insecure/ anxious moments every single time.) Deep down inside, I knew that there was no other option I wanted to give myself. I told myself I had to go through this process in order to come out winning. Whether it meant, bringing my daughter along with me to class or asking my professors for extensions because my daughter's constant distractions hardly allowed me to keep a deadline. Even on those long hectic days where I would literally go without a chance to even have something to eat until I finally made it home at night, I knew I had no other choice. This was what I had decided to do in this moment of my life and I couldn't give up just because things got hard or "felt" nearly impossible to me.
"...the process gives you foundation." Getting through this FINAL Fall semester of college was definitely the one of the most transformative events of my life besides becoming a mom. This last semester I felt was a test for me from the man above. Testing my ability to withstand, fight, and become a stronger well-rounded person, mother, wife, and professional. I recall walking down the steps of New York City Tech's college after finishing my last class session, and my eyes filled with tears. I saw the numerous times, I ran up those steps drenched in sweat trying to make it to class after figuring out where I would leave my daughter for the evening. I remember walking past the halls with my stroller and students just staring in awe. I remember back to when I had my big pregnant belly on my very first day of class at the college and how every student just stared at me walking into the classroom. Today, as T.D. Jakes himself would say, "I am grateful for the steps". I may not be where I desire to be just yet, however, those "steps" (in which I tripped on numerous times) are what laid the foundation for the woman I stand proud to be today.
Today, I encourage you to be GRATEFUL FOR THE STEPS...
...Sew This is Life!